Community

Recently I have really been trying to figure out what the heck is missing in my life. Why do I feel so empty inside when all I am living to do in this moment is live for God everyday. Is it so hard to think that maybe I'm actually doing something right? A few of my friends and I have really been searching for a church home. We had been attending the church right down the street from our school but to be honest it just was not filling the need, the emptiness that I am/was feeling before. I suggested that we should try going to what I've always called my church home, CCV (Christ Church of the Valley). Before we moved to Lincoln, Nebraska this is the church that my family and I attended and we all fell in love with. I was saved at this church as well as baptized by an amazing youth pastor who is partially the reason why I'm studying what I am today.
Christ Church of the Valley is filled with people who love you. You can walk into the building and not know a single person and you will walk out with at least one friend if you try. I've always felt this way about the community at this church. Yes, CCV is huge and there are three services, each packed to the brim of the building we are currently in, but if and when you find "your people": the one who will be there for you when you are crying or make fun of you just to make you laugh, they stick around for a lifetime. Every time I walk through the doors of that church I feel as though I've never left. The same people are there (not all of them, but a lot of them) the same jokes are being laughed at and it's like nothing has even changed.
This community is one that I never have to worry about. I don't have to question if they are going to be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, and I hope they feel the same way about me. This community is an unchanging one, that loves me unconditionally no matter what the circumstance and for that I thank you! To all the members of my CCV community I would like to thank you for the 8 years that we have grown together & for the many things that you've seen in me that you've liked and disliked but still stuck by my side. I thank you for letting nothing change and accepting me for who God has made me to be. When I am with you all I get excited and I feel overjoyed to know that I have people who care about me as much as you all do, so don't stop! Push me to my limit, keep asking me those tough questions and make sure I tell you the tough answers because you are the ones I trust. You are MY people, and I thank you tremendous amounts for that!

One love,
a.

almost summertime.

So this weekend my best friend from Nebraska came to visit me here in Pennsylvania, I'm not too sure if that was a good idea or not because now I am just really wanting to go home : ). I've been spending a lot of time lately in the Word and God is really teaching me how much I truely invest in earthly relationships, and not spiritual ones. I'm not talking about spiritual as in just God relationship but even relationships with other Christians especially when it comes to romantic relationships. My good friends here at school are beginning to get in relationships and that's what I've been seeing around me. I'm not saying that these relationships are the strongest that I've ever seen, but we've been praying about them and they seem to be getting stronger in Christ which in the end are going t make the relationships stronger as a whole. I've been really trying to not care about those relationships and have the one relationship I'm worried about be the one that I am in with Jesus Christ (trust me it's harder than it looks). So the result of this is what I like to call lonely and sad. Now for those of you who know me, you know that when I'm sad I don't really like to let myself feel that so sadness either turns into anger, or annoyance, or if I try hard enough happiness. Yesterday I found myself in conversation, pouring out my little heart, with one of the most interesting people on my campus who really helped me see how beautiful the feeling of sadness can be. He explained it as a feeling that is seen as weak but it is only because of the low points that we get the motion to propel into our high points. We wouldn't be able to get high without our lows.
I'm also beginning to worry about Summertime and what exactly that is going to look like. As Mallory was here this weekend I began to think about how she is not going to be here this summer and then I'm going to be alone, but in Nebraska. By alone I dont mean not friends; I mean alone in the physical sense, not having my soul fed by other Christians searching and seeking God together. I've come to the conclusion that God is trying to show me how much I do invest in other people to find Him instead of investing in Him to find God! Again, hardly than it looks, but this is what I'm working on.

In Him (the ONE love),
a.

Sunday Morning.

Thank you Lord Jesus! He is really amazing if I can say so myself. Today 7 of my friends and I went to my home church, Christ Church of the Valley! I've been wrestling a lot with the way that they do things at the church lately swhich is why I had not been attending. Today's service WAS AMAZING! They talked about changing they way that they do things in the church, which is EXACTLY what I needed to hear in order to move forward in being a participant in the church on a more regular basis. Being discipled & not entertained is the difference and what I need. Brian Jones did an amazing job in taking the blame for what he had to do in the part of not discipling his church. I also want to take some blame when it comes to this situation, I want to number one apologize to anyone who I have not taken time to disciple. I want to apologize to those who have seen me do things that are not Christ like. Mostly I would like to apologize to Jesus, for taking control in my life. I want to fully and completely give it back to you because no matter how hard I continue to try I can never seem to do things correctly. So Lord Jesus I am giving you back the stearing wheel to my life & I ask you to take complete and utter control.

Today was also a day that Megan got baptized. She got saved a week from today and today she got baptized and I was able to be a part of it. When I dipped h er in the water and brought her back up I could just feel the presence of Jesus. Thank you Lord for everything that you are doing, you are getting us ready for something HUGE and I can not wait to see what the outcome is going to be.

In Christ (the ONE love),
a.

Deny this one.

Please tell me that God, the creator of EVERYTHING didn't do this on purpose...

continued.

So classes are over and I sit in my room listening to Nichole Nordeman's Healed and I'm just just loving being in the presence of my God.
So this past week me and three friends went to Ocala Florida for the week of Spring break. When you think spring break for college students I know what you are thinking, wet t-shirts, body shots and crazy MTV activities with Carson Daley : ). But in reality our spring break was a little different. We stayed with one of the girls grandparents and we just hung out by the pool & on the beach for about 4 days in a row, it was one of the best weeks I've had in awhile. The week began in Richmond Virginia with my family. We went to the church that my aunt and her family attend. It is one of the most intersting churches that I've been to in awhile; very contemporary yet very good. The Lord was moving in that place and my friend and I were moved to tears. The speaker was talking about what it means to be involved in a Christian community and that is something that I have been praying for God to show me, more Christian friends and surround me in a better Christian community.

By the end of the week (yesterday)we were back in Virigina but this time at another girls house. We got up and went to church, we were all very exhausted and tired for the drive the day before but we felt like something was calling up to go to this church. This church was a little baptist church that probably could hold 50-100 people (i'm not really good a judging that kind of thing) but it was a very cute church, with stain glass window and a baptism pool. We sat down together and as soon as the pastor started talking I knew that something exciting was getting ready to happen. By the end of the service the song "I Can Only Imagine" was being played by a single guitar player who had given his testamony earlier in the service. I sang along as everyone was greeting one another at the end of the service. I sat there with tears in my eyes realizing how great my God really is. I look to the left of me and see one of the friends crying as well. Slowly but surely the sanctuary emptied out and it was just me her and God sitting in that little santuary in Manassas Virginia. She was praying about her struggles and I was praying about mine and when we got up to talk about them they were almost identical. The difference she was not yet saved, and I am. We sat and talked and Pastor Brian came out to talk with us. He got to talking to my friend and asking if she had been saved before in her life, which she responded no. From there he asked her if she would like to be, and she answered YES! It was at the moment that I felt God stronger than I have ever felt him before. Not only was he in the room with us but he was about to enter into the heart of my friend. This girl, this beautiful daughter of Christ was saved over spring break and I could not say that there was a better moment on that trip.

Thank you Jesus! This amazing thing has opened so many opprotunties and answered so many prayers. YOU ARE AMAZING!

In Him,
a.

God is good.

I must go to class in 5 minutes so I dont have a lot of time to explain why God is so good, but I will do it when my classes are over.

I just wanted to let everyone know that right now, and always, God is working & doing amazing things, GOD IS GOOD!

Amen.

One love,
a.